The Biblical Perspective of Dating
If you ask ten (10) Christians whether it is OK for a Christian youth to Date and why, I strongly believe that you will get from each a different reason for their response. Some will tell you that a Christian should be in courtship and not dating, some will say Dating is not a biblical language while others may agree with the concept of dating as a period of understanding each other with the opposite sex before going into courtship. They will all give you their answers best on their perspective on how they define the word dating.
Dating is an activity that people do. The word “dating” comes from the idea of “setting a date,” where two people (or more, if on a group date) agree to get together at a certain time and place. You will agree with me that this activity goes beyond relationship between two people of the opposite sex. A family can set up a Date to reunite themselves. Two individuals who are in courtship do set up a Date to meet and discussed. Dating as an activity that is also involved in courtship and so many other forms of relationship. Courtship itself usually start with a Date.
Both the word Dating and courtship is not mention in the bible just like so many other words e.g. Rapture. Dating can be biblical or totally unbiblical. It depends on whether the process is guided by the Word of God and entered into in the fear of God and trust in Him. Dating has become a game to young people, they set up a Date to communicate regularly with a special person of the opposite without the intention to marry. Marriage usually starts out with a first date. One of the main problems is that too many Christians approach the idea of dating with a casual and carnal attitude. They have adopted the world’s view on this instead of God’s. God’s word says “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Rom 12:2). The world has its own standard and pattern for everything, as a Christian The biblical position on dating would be to date in a holy way and not following the pattern that is set in the Worlds.
Dating should have an Honourable purpose, some young people may take a casual view of dating, they just want to boost their self-esteem. dating a special person of the opposite sex regularly without the intention of marriage is like advertising something you are not selling. You will not benefit anything from it but rather it is all waste of time and energy emotionally, mentally and physically. A casual view of dating can cause a lot of hurt and suffering. Such relationship is short; must youth break up with each other after some weeks or months. Most dating relationship in the tertiary institution breaks after graduation. This is because they went into Dating when they are not ready for Date. Breaking up is just preparing them for divorce rather than for marriage, they experience heartbreak, they repeatedly pick the “wrong type,” they can’t find the “right type,” or they find the “right type” and they don’t like him or her as much as the wrong type. They have trouble integrating their spiritual life into dating. Psychological needs have taken over as the focus of our discussion on dating. The Bible has been reduced to an optional guidebook as we look for ways to meet our emotional needs. Some date secretly, because they know that they are not ready to date and that their parent would not approve such childlike attitude. they date in secrete because they are not dating in a holy way.
Avoiding dating isn’t the way to cure the problems encountered in dating. The cure is the same as the Bible’s cure for all of life’s problems, and that is spiritual growth leading to maturity. Learning how to love, follow God, be honest and responsible, treat others as you would want to be treated, develop self-control, and building a fulfilling life will ensure better dating.
Biblical Guidelines for Dating
- Take Jesus on every date, let him be your chaperone. Go on date expecting Jesus to come before it’s over. put God first in dating and you’ll have fun – Mk. 12:30
Don’t go into dating outside of God revealed will. (Ephesians 5:17): not knowing the will of God on when and how to go on Dating is foolishness. It is those who are led by the Spirit of God that are call the sons of God. ((Rom 8:14-15)
- Love God more than your fiancé. Your heart must be committed to God Let your love for God not be replace with your fiancé. 12:30 love God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength. Don’t allow your feelings to trample on your relationship with God. It is much easier than you think to allow your heart to overrule your conscience. Once your desire is demanding priority, your zeal for God quickly fade away. Your emotion is powerful thing and if you don’t control them, they will control you (Jeremiah 17:19). Your life is to be led by the spirit of God and not your emotions. When your fiancé takes the place of God in your heart, it very difficult for you to discern the will of God. You will end up marrying a wrong partner.
- Let your moral position be known before agreeing to date: if you are old enough to date, you are old enough to talk about your moral position about sex before dating.
- Date people who are morally committed to God. Your fiancé can help you get to heaven or hinder you. Josh. 24:14-15 Joshua called upon the people to decide in advance whom they would serve – decide in advance whether you will have a godly or ungodly boyfriend or girlfriend. If you cannot be committed God while dating, which is a foundation to your marriage then, it will be very difficult be committed God in marriage.
- Be consistent in the relationship – 100% spiritual / 100% of the time: 2 Tim. 2:22a flee lusts (run away from, stay far away, anything stimulating a strong desire to sin) when you are in a godly relationship, you can have fun without worry about the sinful pressures in an ungodlyRelationship.
- Don’t prolong marriage for dating: (1 Cor 7:36) If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. And 1 cor 7:9 said “it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
- Make it a spiritual relationship- 2 Cor. 6:14, 16, 17 best human relationship is a spiritual one, where both are united spiritually. go to church together – worship together – If you don’t practice and like it when dating, you won’t like it when married. when want to improve the relationship, have Bible study together, when things not going well, get back to Bible study. focus on spiritual rather than physical, know each other’s spirits better before marriage
Thank you Lord for the teaching and enlightenment on dating according to your will.